How To Stop Your Break From Becoming a Breakup
Sometimes your boyfriend will ask for a 'break' instead of a break up. This special scenario is a lot different than a normal breakup, and it needs to be handled with a much different approach. The good news however, is that once you're armed with the right knowledge it's a relatively easy situation for you to fix.
When your boyfriend suggests taking a "break" from your relationship, he's really looking for a cheap, temporary escape. He obviously wants to pursue other interests, and may already have someone else in mind. Yet instead of breaking up with you like a man, he's offering to put your romance on hold... basically so he can do his own thing (guilt-free) while you sit around waiting and hoping for him to come back.
What's worse is that some guys will try to put a positive spin on the break. "We need time apart" is one common approach, followed up with something like: "A break would do us some good".
You shouldn't fall for this kind of sappy bullshit, not even for a minute. No relationship benefits from spending time apart; although it might make you miss each other, your boyfriend is really using this excuse to cover up his secret desire to do something (or someone) else.
Another bad thing about taking a 'break' from your relationship is that the boundries are often left undefined. For example, is your ex going to see other people? If he planned on doing so, would he even tell you?
And hey, should you see other people also? Or are such actions forbidden while you take this time off from your relationship?
The more vague he leaves these parameters, the easier it is for him to hold you accountable. Even if your ex wants to date someone else, he certainly doesn't want you doing the same. Your boyfriend would rather you sit home alone like a good little girlfriend, waiting patiently for him to declare when the break is finally over. And in the meantime? He's doing pretty much whatever it is he wants.
Your Boyfriend Asks For Some Time Apart: The Good News
A 'break' is definitely not a breakup, and if you're still in love with your boyfriend that's some pretty good news. He didn't make a clean break from you for a very good reason, and that reason is because on some extremely important levels your boyfriend is not ready to lose you.
Best of all, you can use this simple fact to get your boyfriend back. Because he still wants to keep you around, this principal becomes the basis for getting him to reverse the decision to break up.
By executing the right methods you can get him back fast, too. Check out the instant reversal techniques designed to create a sense of urgency in your ex boyfriend's actions, forcing him to move quickly or risk losing you for good.
Why Your Boyfriend Doesn't Really Want a Break After All
Getting inside your ex's head is a crucial part of reversing any breakup situation. What your boyfriend wants and what he says he wants are often two entirely different things.
For example, here's what your boyfriend says when he asks for a break:
"Listen, I think we should spend some time apart. Our relationship
is pretty intense, and if we took a break the space would do us both some
good. It might also make us appreciate each other more."
Truthfully however, here's what your boyfriend is really saying:
"Look, I want to see what else is out there. At the same time, I don't want
to lose you. Let's break up temporarily, so I can date other girls and decide
if I like them more. You should sit here and wait around for me,
just in case my new relationship doesn't work out."
Basically, your ex asking for a break is selfish. Your boyfriend is not going to do any soul-searching regarding your relationship, and neither are you. He's going to date other people, or at least try to, because essentially you gave him a license to cheat. You on the other hand, are going to be miserable about the whole thing. You'll be wondering when and if your 'break' will turn into a permanent breakup.
Agreeing To Take a Break From Each Other - Why It Doesn't Work
When your boyfriend asks for some time apart, most women only see one option. They reluctantly agree with a boyfriend's decision, thinking that if they were to say 'no' to him he'd only leave them anyway.
Going along with such a poisonous arrangement is tantamount to destroying your own relationship. What you're doing is unraveling the very foundation of the relationship itself: monogamy and trust. You're letting your ex walk away without a hitch: he can ignore your phone calls and break all contact in the interest of 'maintaining his space'. You can't even get angry at him for this either, because you yourself already agreed to the break.
In a few days, you'll be dying to hear from him. You won't be able to call him however, for fear of intruding on his sacred space. This will lead to bitterness and jealousy, and you'll be angry at your ex for having put you in such a situation to begin with.
And when you finally do call him? He'll pointedly remind you that you went along with the break. Even though it was his idea, YOU agreed to it. And on top of everything, you're not abiding by the rules of the break, which included steering clear of each other for a while.
Agreeing to take a break from your relationship is a no-win scenario for you. Your other option - the better option - is to stop your boyfriend's plan in its tracks, before it can even unfold.
What Should You Do When He Wants To Take a Break From The Relationship?
In learning how to get your boyfriend back, you need to understand one thing: he'll never want you back until he stands to lose you. Playing upon this mantra, the best thing you can do when your boyfriend asks for space is to give it to him.
You're not agreeing to take a break here, you're actually breaking up with your boyfriend. You're launching a pre-emptive strike against his idea to take some time off, and you need to be very specific about what he can expect if he walks away from the relationship right now.
So what do you say when your boyfriend wants a break? You tell him something like this:
"Forget taking a break, let's just break up. You're not happy, I'm not happy,
and taking a 'break' sure isn't going to solve anything.
Keep in mind, this is the exact opposite of what your boyfriend expects right now. He was bracing himself for resistance, and for you to try and change his mind. Yet here you are agreeing with him, and this will instantly confuse him.
From there, your ex will probably try to plead his case. He doesn't want a breakup, he only wants some time apart. This is where you continue onward by laying the rest of your cards on the table:
"Sorry, but I don't do 'breaks'. Either we date each other or we break up,
but I'm certainly not putting our relationship in some half-assed
limbo while you decide what's best for you.
This type of ultimatum accomplishes two things. First, it lets your boyfriend know you're not going to lay down and accept whatever he wants to do out of fear of losing him. Second, it scares him into thinking you're not happy. This is something your boyfriend probably didn't take into consideration, and it will have him worried.
Once again, your boyfriend wants to have his cake and eat it too. Instead of letting him, you're telling him that if he continues along this path he's going to lose you. This isn't what he wants, or he would've broken up with you in the first place. Suddenly, for the first time, he has to consider the fact that he might lose you for good.
What You Can Do If Your Relationships is Already On A Break
If you've already agreed with your ex boyfriend to take some time away from each other, you're in a much different boat. Don't lose hope just yet, because there are still ways to rectify the situation and make things right between you. Getting your ex to need you again becomes first priority, followed by a plan to draw him back into a committed relationship.
Breakup Reversed - by Robert Parsons
In situations like the one above, you can often feel like you're the only one trying to save the relationship. At one point you and your ex had a really great thing going, but lately it might seem as if he's got other priorities.
Breakup Reversed is a guidebook designed to bring your relationship back to its original honeymoon stage. This was a time when you and your ex were crazy for each other, and took every opportunity to be together.
You'll learn how to reverse your current situation and get your exboyfriend to want you back. Not only that, but by following these instant reversal techniques you can actually get your boyfriend to chase after you, which leads to a scenario in which getting back together suddenly becomes his idea, instead of yours.
The end result? A reconciliation that sticks. You don't just get your boyfriend back, you get him to fall in love with you again. Breakup Reversed can teach you the bonding secrets necessary to rebuild your broken romance, regardless of what may have already happened since the breakup.
Check out what else you can do in similar situations. Read up on how to remove your ex's safety net, to speed up the process of getting him back. Until he stops feeling comfortable with where you are (in regards to the breakup), your ex boyfriend will never take a step in your direction.
And if you're stuck on knowing whether or not your ex still loves you? Take our Does He Want Me Back Quiz.