Reading The Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Still Loves You
While learning how to get your boyfriend back, you also need to spot the signs that all your hard work is paying off. When your ex boyfriend still has feelings for you he'll give off certain signals, and these signs that he still cares for you will be there, if you know where to look for them.
Getting your ex back can often feel like an uphill climb. Your efforts can seem one-sided, and it's very easy to get discouraged. That's why it's so important to realize when your efforts are actually working.
Realizing that your ex boyfriend is finally responding to you again can be both thrilling and exhilarating. It's a welcome pick-up after a long period of being discouraged, and it can really help put you in a more positive frame of mind.
At the same time, it's important to know when your ex is responding for another reason: so you can continue whatever it is that you were doing. No two breakups are the same, and no two guys will respond to the exact same thing. So when you find something that seems to be working? Your best bet is always to run with it.
An ex boyfriend who's showing signs of interest won't be able to help himself. Although there may be feelings he's still trying to bury, he won't be able to hide all the signs that he's reconsidering your relationship. His words, his phraseology, his body language... these things will betray his true feelings, especially around you. It's crucial that you consider every aspect of the communication you have together, so you can try to determine exactly where your boyfriend stands in regards to the possibility of dating you again.
Understanding Why Your Ex Still Has Feelings For You
Believe it or not, a lot of women give up after a break up. Either they're afraid of prolonging the rejection, or they just can't see how their exes can still love them after letting them go.
In actuality, it's not that hard to understand. Your ex still loves you even after ending things, mainly because the emotional bonds and ties created when two people go out with each other can't just be severed overnight.
Think about it. Although you fell hard and fast for each other, the feelings you developed over the course of your relationship took a lot longer to emerge. These connections were created in everything you and your ex boyfriend did: every holiday you shared together, every vacation you took, and every amazing memory you etched into each other's minds. These recollections don't fade away so easily, even after your boyfriend decides to break up with you.
Signals Your Ex Will Give Off When He's Still In Love With You
Below are a list of signs that your ex isn't ready to let you go just yet. The more of these flags he sends up, the more wrapped up your ex boyfriend still is in thinking about your past relationship:
He Continues to Contact You After The Breakup
Every break up with someone and really mean it? Chances are good you walked away without looking back, and you avoided all contact with this past lover for fear of giving him the wrong idea.
Well guess what? The same thing holds true for your ex boyfriend. Which means if he's still keeping in touch even after breaking things off, it's a sure sign he's not ready to cut you loose.
An ex boyfriend who keeps the channels of communication open is an ex who's wishy-washy about breaking up. On one hand he'd like the freedom to go out and do his own thing, but on the other he enjoys the security of still being able to reach you. This type of 'have your cake and eat it too' behavior is what keeps you around, because at this point you probably think any interest your ex shows in you is good interest.
Contact after the break is a sure sign your ex still has feelings for you. At the same time, you're shooting yourself in the foot if you allow him to keep up that contact. Being friends with your ex boyfriend is not your goal: what you really want is to renew the long-term romantic relationship you once had with him.
If your ex boyfriend calls you a lot, learn what to do. Check out these techniques from The Magic of Making Up, designed to get your exboyfriend interested in you as a girlfriend, and not just as a platonic shoulder to cry on.
Your Ex Boyfriend Calls You Late at Night or Drunk Dials You
When you're on your ex's mind, it shows. During the day he might find it easier to put you out of his head, but at night - when he's feeling lonely - your ex boyfriend will find it harder to resist the urge to call. This is when he's most vulnerable, and his true feelings sometimes take over.
A similar situation occurs when your ex calls you up while drunk. Once again, his inhibitions are lowered and he's at his absolute weakest. Whatever thoughts and instincts first come to mind, that's usually what a drunk person goes with. So if your ex drunk dials you? Yes, it's a definite sign he's still thinking about your past relationship.
Your Ex Starts Interacting With Your Friends and Family
When he's ready to undo the breakup, your ex may begin getting back in touch with those people closest to you. It's his way of working his way back into your life, with the added benefit of getting to feel out how approachable you might be.
This is a huge sign that your breakup is in its final stages because your ex won't make moves like this unless he's ready to get back together again. Unless you share common friends or your ex would have legitimate reason to still be in touch with your family members, he's getting ready to step up and ask you to start hanging out again.
Your Ex Boyfriend Wants To Stay Friends After The Breakup
If your boyfriend happened to slip the "let's be friends" speech into his breakup routine, it's very possible he was trying to let you down easy. But if your boyfriend actually pushes to remain friendly after the breakup? It's a big sign he's not prepared to let you go just yet.
Let's be honest: your boyfriend already has enough friends - he doesn't need more of them. The only true reason he'd want to stay in touch would be to keep you hanging around, just in case he decides that breaking up was a bad idea. Esentially, your friendship becomes his safety net.
Being friends with an ex boyfriend is always a bad idea. The second your ex starts dating a new girl, you'll be kicked to the curb so fast your head will spin. Your calls will go unanswered, and in order to protect his new love interest he'll go out of his way to avoid you. So much for friendship.
And hey, should it be all that surprising? Did you really think your ex boyfriend would tell his new girlfriend how he still talks to and possibly hangs out with his old lover? Hopefully not, because that type of honest just don't exist.
In the end however, your boyfriend asking to remain friends is a really good sign. He still has feelings for you, and there's a big part of your past relationship he doesn't want to lose. Just make sure you know exactly how to handle it when this situation rears its ugly head. Read up on what to do when your ex wants to be friends.
He's Suddenly and Unnecessarily Open About His Single Life
When your ex still loves you, he'll want to keep the door to your past relationship open. One of the biggest ways he'll do this? By making sure you know that he's not dating anyone else right now.
By flaunting the fact that he's still single, your exboyfriend hopes you'll do the same. Although it's selfish (and a bit weird), some guys will break up with you and expect you not to date anyone else right away. They'll think that as long as they keep up the facade of being alone you'll still hold out hope for the relationship... and not date anyone else for now.
Signs to look for: your ex keeps telling you where he went and what he did last weekend, reporting to you as if you were still dating him. By maintaining this more innocent type of single life, your ex is wordlessly asking you to do the same.
Your Ex Boyfriend Is Being Flirty or Overly Complementary
If you happen to still see your ex boyfriend, the way he acts around you can reveal huge clues as to how much he wants you back. Remember how your ex flirted with you in the beginning of your relationship? Good, because he'll do these same types of things again when he's looking to get back together with you.
Flirtatious behavior is an indication of interest, but be careful. It's also possible that your ex has been alone for a while, is feeling horny around you, and may be hoping for some kind of hookup. Check out his body language, listen to his words, and see how strong he comes on to you. An ex who really likes you will be a bit nervous in his approach... an exboyfriend who just wants to sleep with you will be a lot more direct and blunt about his thoughts (for fear of leading you on).
But perhaps the best sign when it comes to this type of thing? An ex boyfriend who complements you on your looks.
Trying to be friendly is one thing, but being complementary after the breakup is quite another. This means your ex boyfriend is noticing you again on some more physical levels, and doesn't just see you in a platonic way. Complements on your looks will be pretty hard to come by for an ex boyfriend who no longer has any interest in you.
He Apologies For How The Relationship Ended, or Claims Responsibility for the Breakup
If your boyfriend broke up with you, it was probably for his own interests. He may have been apologetic while doing it, but after the breakup your ex is going to move in new directions while trying to push the past aside.
This is why an apologetic ex boyfriend is such a strong sign of him wanting you back. If he were going to continue being single your ex wouldn't be fixated at all on what happened between you - he'd be doing his own thing. An ex who's suddenly apologizing for his past misdeeds however, is probably looking for a clean slate. He wants to start fresh with you, rather than rebuild on the past problems of your broken relationship.
He Calls Specifically To Ask Your Advice on Something
Over the course of your relationship, you and your ex got pretty close. You shared a lot of important things together, and you often relied on each other for advice and support.
An ex boyfriend who continues to call for your opinion on something is re-living the days when the two of you were a couple. In a way he's still stuck on the relationship, and hasn't severed the ties to you that a normal breakup would dictate must be severed.
If he still feels comfortable enough to contact you this way, it's one of the bigger signs your ex boyfriend still loves you. The trick now is to get him back in the mindset of dating you again.
This can best be accomplished using honeymoon techniques. These are reconnection methods designed to remind your ex of the golden beginnings of your relationship. The more familiar you get with them, the better your chances.
Your Ex Boyfriend Suggests Meeting For Lunch or Coffee
An ex who no longer wants to date you will always steer clear of direct contact. He may even outright avoid you, especially if you've chased him or tried changing his mind during the days and weeks immediately after the breakup.
That said, an exboyfriend won't ever ask to meet you unless he's trying to renew some past connection. Contrary to what some people might say, there's no such thing as being friends with your ex. Once you've shared the intimacy of sleeping together, there's no such thing as a platonic friendship.
If your ex wants to meet with you, he's looking for something a lot more tangible than a friendly phone call, email, or text-message. He's missing you pretty badly, to the point where he now physically wants to see you again. Of course this is all great news, if you've been trying to win your boyfriend's heart back.
Going out for coffee with your ex is a very big step on the road to fixing your breakup. It means he's ready to start seeing you again, even if he might not be fully committed to calling you his girlfriend. You need to take each step very carefully, and try very hard not to push him. Rushing back into your ex's arms too quickly can scare him off; your best course of action is to let the reconciliation proceed along at whatever pace he dictates.
Keep in mind that your ex might call you in the middle of the night, and suddenly ask to see you right then and there. While this is definitely a sign that he misses you, it could also be a case of your ex trying to get you into bed with him. Sleeping with your ex boyfriend doesn't always help you get him back, and in many cases it can be a major setback as to how he views you. Be wary of your ex's intentions, and be honest with him about how you feel. Don't ever let your ex use the fact that you still love him as a tool to manipulate you into doing something that can leave you hurt or upset.
What To Do When Your Ex Isn't Showing Signs of Wanting You Back
Just because your ex boyfriend hasn't shown any of the above signs, it doesn't mean he doesn't still have feelings for you. Breaking up is all about putting aside past feelings for the benefit of moving forward. In other words, your ex feels like he has to sacrifice a potential future with you in order to move on.
Men tend to bury their feelings rather than deal with them. They push aside their emotional bonds, hoping they'll go away. Given enough time, your boyfriend's memories of you will fade. But as for right now, there are many things you can do to bring his feelings to the surface, forcing your ex to reconsider continuing your relationship.
If you haven't done so already, check out these instant adjustments that will make your ex boyfriend want you back.
In the case where your ex seems to have all the control over what happens between you, you'll need to seize back some of the power you lost during the break up. There are some great methods for reversing the momentum of your break up.
And if you're still not sure if he wants you back? Check out these other signs that your ex still loves you.