Making Your Exboyfriend Want You Again - Five Instant Adjustments
In trying to get your boyfriend to undo the breakup, it's often easy to be one-directional. When focusing all of your efforts on your own needs (getting back together), you're neglecting something extremely important: what your ex boyfriend wants.
Even worse, you're failing to notice what your boyfriend sees right now. For example, are you a miserable wreck? Are you crying and sobbing all the time? Are you hounding your ex with excessive contact and pushing yourself on him in a desperate attempt to bring things back to the way they were?
If so, it might be time to stop and take a look in the mirror.
As harsh as that sounds right now, try to realize what you're attempting to accomplish. You're trying to sell yourself back to your ex, and convince him to change his mind. But are you giving him something that he'd even want? In your current condition, would your ex even want to start dating you again?
No couple on the planet ever gets back together until something important happens first: they both want each other back. So until your ex desires having you back in his life again, nothing you say or do will have much of an impact.
To get him back, you must become the girl your boyfriend once fell in love with.
That sounds simple in theory, doesn't it? Yet right now, accomplishing that task is going to be really hard. The main reason for this is your current emotional state.
After the breakup, you're probably reeling with dozens of painful feelings and memories of your past relationship. It's hard to think straight when all you can think of is your ex boyfriend. It's even harder to act - or at least act correctly - when you're stuck on the past relationship, hung up on feelings for your ex boyfriend, and raging inwardly against the break up with everything you've got.
Your priority right now should NOT be figuring out how to get back with your ex boyfriend. It should be figuring out how to clear your mind, screw your head on straight, and get to a point where you're in control of your feelings and emotions.
Once you've mastered your feelings, things will look at lot differently. The path to reconciliation will become a lot clearer, especially when not crowded with snap judgements and reflexive emotional reactions. Everything you do should be geared toward a specific goal, and it should be rational and logical. When you're thinking straight again, everything else falls more easily into place.
Making Your Ex Fall Back In Love With You: Bringing Back The Magic
Remember how awesome everything seemed to be when you and your boyfriend first started dating? The sparks that flew between you? That original magic never lasts, but it's always remembered.
The good news about breaking up is that absence always makes the heart grow fonder. Therefore, you've got a second chance at making this magic happen again. Because you're now apart, you and your ex boyfriend can fall in love all over again.
To accomplish this, the only thing you have to do is recreate the circumstances that made your ex fall for you in the first place. What got him to want you the first time around will certainly get his attention again, as well as reminding your ex boyfriend of what it was like during that original, magical time.
Check out these three things you can do today. They'll help get you started on putting things back the way they were, back when you and your ex boyfriend first met.
Right now though, while broken up? You have control over your own actions. You also have control over your attitude, and your general happiness. These things are an integral part of making your ex want you back, because no guy wants to take back a shattered wreck of an ex girlfriend. The more you can build yourself back up, the greater your chances of putting yourself back in your boyfriend's arms.
Below you'll find five quick areas of adjustment that will help you regain your ex boyfriend's love, attention, and respect. The more progress you can make in these areas, the better off you'll be. The no contact phase of your break up is the optimum time for you to improve upon these things by focusing inwardly upon yourself:
Adjustment 1: Be Confident In Everything That You Do
Ask a thousand guys and you'll get a thousand nodded heads: few things are sexier than a girl with confidence. A woman who's not afraid to go after what she wants is always more attractive than one who goes through life nervous, apprehensive, or wishy-washy.
Confidence is the opposite of insecurity. It's a trait almost every woman looks for in a man, but very few of them realize that men are looking for the same type of behavior in women. A confident girl is seldom needy, surrounded by friends, and always has an agenda of her own.
While you might not feel very confident after the break up, you need to shake those inhibitions off as quickly as possible. Getting dumped is a part of life, and it shouldn't rattle you to the point where you lose belief in yourself. Keeping your chin up is a critical step in getting over your break, and it's also an important part of getting your ex to want you again. Without confidence, you're facing an uphill climb.
Adjustment 2: Be Independent - Especially After The Break Up
Another personality trait guys find very attractive in a potential girlfriend is independence. And while many girls like to consider themselves as acting very independently, when it comes to a relationship they can often become clingy or high-maintenance without even knowing it.
Independence is the opposite of neediness. Such a girlfriend doesn't depend on her ex for a good time, and usually creates the good times herself. This is a very social trait, and guys are always more interested in girls who have it over girls who rely on their boyfriends for every little thing.
After your ex breaks up with you, independence is crucial. When he looks back to see how you're doing, you need to be better than ever. Your ex boyfriend should see you succeeding and thriving, not hanging back and hanging around. Becoming your own person can go a long way toward getting your boyfriend back, especially if you'd grown semi-dependent upon him toward the end of your relationship.
Adjustment 3: Be Social - Your Ex Needs To See You Out Having Fun
Your ex boyfriend doesn't want to rescue you from the break up. Pity is way overrated, and it won't help you get back with your ex in any way, shape, or form.
When your ex suspects that you're pitying yourself, he envisons you sitting at home alone. This is a great position for him to be in, because while you're still hung up over the relationship your ex never has to worry about his one greatest fear: you moving on before he gets the chance to.
Ideally, your ex wants to see you stay single for a long, long time. While he might not want you back (at least, not yet) your boyfriend also doesn't want to see you hooking up with someone else. He'd like the door to your relationship to remain open in case he changes his mind. Selfish? Yes. But that's the way he thinks right now.
For this reason, you once again need to do the exact opposite of what your boyfriend expects. Instead of sitting around waiting for the phone to ring, you need to be out having a great time. You should be surrounded by friends, occupied by family, and doing the things you loved to do before you met your ex. And once he sees you're back to doing those things again? That's when your ex will start worrying about the possibility of losing you for good.
Your ex will be jealous when he sees you happy without him. This isn't something you'd think would happen, but it does. During your relationship, your boyfriend liked to imagine himself responsible for most of your happiness. To see that you can be happy without him around is like a dagger to the side: it hurts, even if he's the one who let you go.
Adjustment 4: Eliminate Drama and Steer Clear of Game-Playing
Ask any guy what his biggest turnoff would be personality-wise, and the answer is always the same: high drama. Men are a lot simpler than you give us credit for, and when it comes to commitment we'll always take the easy, stress-free relationship over the fiery but complicated one.
Dramatic, attention-seeking, high-maintenance women make great flings. They make lousy girlfriends however, and most guys already know this. If you want a long-term relationship, you need to take this into consideration.
If there was a level of drama to your own relationship, that's okay. Sometimes love can lead to some very radical situations, especially if you and your ex fell hard for each other. But over the long term? Your boyfriend wants a sense of peace in his relationship. So if you want to get your ex interested in you again, it helps to let him know that you'll both be doing your level best to keep the game-playing and theatrics to a minimum.
After the break up, steer clear of high drama. Let your ex see that you're having a great time without it.
Adjustment 5: Be Genuinely Happy With Your Post-Breakup Life
In the end, perhaps the best sales-pitch you can give your ex boyfriend is also the easiest: happiness. The happier your ex boyfriend sees you without him, the more he's going to instantly want you back.
This seems to fly in the face of conventional wisdom, but the old sayings are true. We all seem to want what we can't have, and the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Translation? Your ex will never want you more than he does after he lets you go. Weird, right?
Yet when he does look back, it's crucial for you to make sure that your boyfriend sees all the right things. He should see you laughing, smiling, and having a fantastic life... all without him. You should be having so much fun that he once again wants to be a part of that fun. The more he sees that you're getting along without him, the more he'll seek to work his way back into your life.
Remember: your ex is lonely too. After breaking things off, it's very possible that he's not having all the fun he thought he would. By making your own life attractive to him, your boyfriend will look to get back together with you. He'll remember the good times you had together, and he'll look to have that again.
Other Methods For Reversing The Way Your Ex Currently Looks At you
In trying to win your boyfriend back, you'll need to change his current mindset. Right now, your ex no longer sees you as a potential girlfriend. As long as he views you this way, there's no long-term future for your relationship.
But the feelings and emotions your boyfriend always had for you? Luckily these bonds are still there. The moment he broke up with you, your ex made the decision to put his feelings for you to the side. Getting him back is as simple as reminding him how much he loves you, and how good the two of you can be together.
The master at reversing the thought processes of any breakup situation is a man named Robert Parsons. His amazing audio guide, Breakup Reversed, has helped thousands of people regain their ex's attention, even when the breakup happened a while ago and the relationship seemed too far gone to save.
Even better, Breakup Reversed has a documented success rate of over 90%!
• Learn the one clue that instantly tells you if your ex still has feelings for you.
• Discover instant reconnection techniques that will put right back in touch.
• Find out how to recapture the romance you had when the two of you first met.
Check out all the various tips and tricks found within Breakup Reversed that you can use to not only get your ex interested again, but actually have your boyfriend looking forward to calling and catching up with you.
Your next step in the reconciliation process: taking away your boyfriend's safety net.
And right about now, your ex should start missing you again. To help speed things along, you can start looking for some of the more obvious signs your ex boyfriend still loves you.