How To Get Back and Date Your Ex Boyfriend
Dating an ex is tricky. The second time around, your relationship will run into different obstacles that might not have been there before. You also have a long history together, and probably even some trust issues. But if you're looking to get back an ex boyfriend, or give your old relationship a second chance, the following guide is written just for you.
There are many good things about dating an ex. You already know and like each other, and you're way past certain awkward stages like getting to know each other's quirks and moods. There's no period of adjustment when getting back together with your exboyfriend, so you can jump right back into having fun.
But before you do? It's a good idea to examine certain things about your previous relationship... the one you had before the two of you broke up. Learning from past mistakes is one of the best ways to keep your future relationship looking happy and bright.
Getting your ex in your arms again is the easy part... staying together is where things get tricky. This time around, you should concentrate on keeping things fresh and different.
Instead of falling back into the same old routines and going to the same old places together, change things up. Hit some brand new spots, restaurants, and places to have fun. Your exboyfriend is familiar and comforting, so it's very easy to get lost in these old patterns. Creating new memories will help from harping too much on the old ones, which might include some not-so-good ones.
Repairing a Broken Relationship - Fixing Those Old Issues
Whether you're trying to win back your boyfriend or you've already accomplished this feat, you'll need to make adjustments to your current relationship in order to move forward. The same old issues will result in the same old fights, which will inevitably lead back to another break up. To avoid this, you should work on identifying and understanding the patterns that caused you to break up in the first place. Maybe one of you was too controlling... or maybe someone didn't give their partner enough attention. No matter who's guilty, working on eliminating those types of behaviors in your future relationship will give it the best chance of success.
Once you begin seeing your ex again, any relationship you develop will be fragile. By treating it gently, you're giving it the time to grow strong.
On any reunion date or meeting you have with your exboyfriend, the first few times you see each other should be happy and casual. Don't talk about anything serious, and don't mention the break up. Try to make your ex comfortable by reliving old times - but only good ones - and by being very accepting of one another.
Seeing him again should be a lot like your first few dates together, when each of you was happy just to be around the other person and no judgments were made.
By creating new experiences together you'll avoid bringing up any old memories that might be a sore subject with your ex. You'll have fun, and become close again. But as you get closer, the time will come where you'll eventually need to discuss your break up. This isn't bad... at this point it's actually necessary. Getting past whatever broke the two of you up is the last major hurdle to clear on the road to getting your ex back.
Talking About The Breakup With Your Ex Boyfriend
The best way to discuss your breakup is to only do it once. For this reason it's very important that each of you get out everything you need to say to each other. By now you should have an idea of what the major problems were with your relationship; tell your ex, and make sure he listens. Encourage him to talk as well, and when he does begin speaking try not to interrupt him no matter what he's saying.
The two of you should try to keep things constructive, identifying your problems without assigning blame to each other. A good way to look at it is that you and your ex are standing together as a team, looking down on your old relationship together. Don't dissect every single little issue, only the major ones. Once you agree on what needs to be done, the two of you can begin building a future on a brand new foundation... because you just tore down the ruined shell of your old one.
Finally, once you've had this talk? Let sleeping dogs lie. No matter what happened in your previous relationship, the most important thing to the both of you should be your future together. This means you're giving your ex a clean slate, and he's doing the same for you. Neither of you can bring up or beat on the other person with anything that happened in the past, no matter how bad it was. Let everything that happened go. You've decided to make a second chance of things, so don't let your new romance be dragged down by the anchor of what happened before.
Moving Forward - Starting With a Clean Slate
Forgive, forget, and look forward - not back. These are the keys to dating your ex boyfriend again. Trust him and love him as if it's the first time you're dating, and don't be overly cautious about getting your feelings hurt. If that happens, it's going to happen. Love is always a risk, and you take that risk whenever you decide to get close to someone. Being cautious will keep you from establishing that closeness, which will hurt whatever new relationship you build together.
If you're having trouble getting to the point where your ex wants to date you again, don't worry - help is available. Knowing the right ways to contact your ex boyfriend is tough, and getting him back on the same page with you can sometimes be a little tricky. You'll need to make your ex miss you again, and stick yourself back in his mind. There are some awesome ways to do this, all you need do is learn what they are.