21 Ways to Get Over The TOUGHEST Breakup
Breaking up is hard... painful... devastating. And sometimes? You just want to move on.
Chasing your ex only leads to more heartbreak... and of course the more you chase him, the harder he runs. So when you're trying to move on from a bad breakup, and just want to start doing things for yourself again? Here's a list of easy, distracting ways to get over him FAST.
1 - Make a list of things you loved about your ex boyfriend. Yes, it might be hard, especially right now. But you know what? Denying these things can make it harder to ultimately let go of them.
Face it, you dated. You loved him. You had great times together. So in mourning the relationship? There's nothing wrong with remembering these things one last time before releasing them. Almost the same way you'd remember the good times with a loved one at their funeral.
2 - Break free from social media entirely. For some people this one seems almost impossible, but you know what? That's only because you're so used to it right now. By not checking your Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and everything else, you're silencing any intrustions you might have that would remind you of your ex boyfriend. And right now that's a very good thing.
Also, if you're still actively trying to get him back? Breaking all contact right now is the second major step in making your ex want you again. Destroying all ties to social media is of course vital to this process.
3 - Getting outside is HUGELY important for your mental health and well-being. There's nothing like some sunshine to revitalize you, lift your spirits, and distract you from sitting at home staring at your phone waiting for your ex to call. Remember: you're trying to get over him. Doing something outdoors is a fantastic way of flushing your ex boyfriend from your system.
4 - Now's the time to make a list of all the reasons you broke up. List the things your ex did that hurt you. List the reasons you no longer want to be with him. It's important to write these things down now, while they're still fresh in your mind. Because later on? You might forget some of these things intentionally as you try to rationalize getting back together with him.
5 - Kickboxing! It's a great way to burn calories and get stress out. And if punching a heavy bag isn't your thing, do something equally aerobic. Join a spin class, or a Zumba class, or do yoga or just hit the gym and jump on the treadmill. But try to make it fun, that way it's something you'll keep coming back to.
6 - Know that thing you used to do that was soooooo fun??? DO IT AGAIN. Chances are while you were dating your exboyfriend you stopped doing something (a hobby, etc...) or stopping hanging out with somebody (a guy friend, a girl friend, etc...) who used to make you very happy. Now's the time to do that thing again... and remember why it was so much fun.
And if that something is a someone who happens to be male? All the better. There is just one of the sizzling hot ways to make your exboyfriend jealous. And let's face it, by human nature we all want that!
7 - Get some money together. Hit the mall, or the store, and go buy something you've been wanting for a while but never had the courage to buy. Even if it sets you back a bit, treating yourself right now is a great way to lift yourself up and feel a little bit better during a very hard time.
8 - Take every photo, every gift, every last reminder of your ex boyfriend and box it up. No, you're not going to toss it. That's too painful. Right now you're going to mark it "DO NOT OPEN FOR ONE YEAR" and shove it in the furthest part of your attic or closet. That way you know it's still there... but you're not going to look at or be reminded of it. One day you'll throw it away with a smile on your face. But that day isn't today, and there's nothing wrong with that.
9 - Go out with someone else. Yes, DATE. You don't have to be looking for a serious relationship, just some fun times with another guy. And if something happens? It happens. Rebound if you want to, because nothing will get you over your ex faster than hooking up with someone new.
10 - Find something you never did before in your whole life and just DO IT. It could be surfing, or horseback riding... it could even be skydiving! Whatever it is, make it fun and adventurous. Do it yourself if you have to, or grab a girlfriend and do it together. Just make sure it's a brand spanking new experience!
11 - Join a gym! This one is a MUST. Not only because you want to whip yourself into dating shape again... not only because you want to make your ex jealous (although that's always nice!) No... join a gym for yourself. Do it because exercise is a great way to release endorphins that will make you feel better about yourself, while at the same time, distracting you from thoughts of your ex. Plus, when you're out at a gym? You get to meet new people!
12 - Pick a day you have nothing to do, and grab your closest friend. Let her pick a direction, and drive for two straight hours. This will put you someplace you've never been before, and that's the whole point of today. Doing something new and making new memories that are far, far removed from anyplace you might've gone with your ex boyfriend.
13 - DELETE THAT TEXT! You know which one I mean... that innocent "hey, whats' up?" text you got in the middle of the night. Or that "been thinking about you" text he sent while drunk. As tempting as it is, you have to delete that text message without answering it - no matter what!
There are ways to get your exboyfriend back through text messaging, but that's only if you still want him. And if you're going to take that route you'll need to be absolutely, 100% sure that you're texting him the right things at exactly the right times (hint: timing is everything!)
14 - Ever binge-watch something on Netflix? Of course you did. And although you probably did it alongside your ex, now's the time to do it by yourself -- or even better, with a close friend. Diving into a new show can take your mind new places as you obsess over every little detail. And every little distraction is one less minute you're thinking of your ex.
15 - Now's the time to make a list of all the things your ex pinned on YOU. You know what I'm talking about... the things he made you feel guilty for. The "flaws" he saw in you, or the things he wanted to change. Write all that stuff down on a piece of paper, laugh at it, then crumple it up and throw it over your shoulder. SCREW that. You're not going to change for anyone.
16 - Know that place your ex hated? GO THERE. Enjoy yourself. Laugh, have fun, and hey, if he happens to find out you were there? All the better. It'll feel cathartic to be somewhere 'forbidden', and it might even be someplace you decide you actually like.
17 - Music. It's awesome. It can remind you of your ex though, so make a playlist of kickass, awesome, motivational songs you listened to before you met him. Make sure nothing reminds you of him, then blast that playlist and go for a long walk or a run.
18 - Re-arrange your entire room. Or your apartment, if that's the case. Changing the layout can give your life a whole new 'feel', even if you're not working with any new furniture. A new feel for a new beginning!
19 - Get on track with life by making a list of things you'd like to have accomplished by the next year. Be realistic, but also be ambitious. By writing those goals down you're making them more concrete and you can then actively work toward them.
20 - When you finally do get back onto social media, this is the time to erase your ex boyfriend. Delete him as a contact. Unfriend him, unfollow him - whatever it takes. Don't worry about explanation, just do it. Do it quietly and without vengefulness. You're over him, remember? Deleting him should be an afterthought. It should mean nothing.
21 - Retrieve the list you made in step 1. Now take it outside and BURY it. At this point you're letting go of those things. They can live in your memory - that's okay - but you can no longer rely on them by reflecting back. From this point on, only look forward.
If you're still having trouble getting over your ex boyfriend, that's normal. Sometimes more advanced techniques are needed.
Check out T.W. Jackson's clean slate technique. This free video is a great mental exercise to wipe away thoughts of your ex boyfriend and replace them with calming, soothing thoughts that will help you move forward.