Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Call - How To Make Him Initiate First Contact
It's what every girl hopes for after an unwanted breakup... the ex boyfriend phone call. This usually marks the beginning of your ex wanting you back, and a swing in your favor when it comes to control. This is because generally an ex boyfriend won't reach out to you unless you're somehow back on his mind again, and this should be your first goal.
If you can get your ex boyfriend interested enough in what you're doing, he's going to pick up that phone. The trick of course, is somehow working yourself back into his head without making it look like you're trying to do so. You need your ex to think picking up the phone was his own idea, and not something he was prompted, forced, or guilt-tripped into doing.
An ex boyfriend who calls you on his own will be a lot more likely to open up. He can't initiate contact without good reason, and he'll need to tell you exactly why he called. This is why getting your ex to make that first move is so important: if you were to call him, he's not going to be obligated to tell you much of anything.
Best Ways To Get Him To Call You
There are a variety of things you can do to get an ex boyfriend to pick up the phone and call you. Unfortunately, some of them are counterproductive to getting him back, and these need to be avoided at all costs.
For example, some women think just getting their ex to make the call is enough; they'll email or text their ex boyfriends, leaving mysterious messages for them to call back. Obviously this is NOT going to work... only by making him want to call and talk to you can you achieve positive results.
For the most part, your ex boyfriend will call you for one basic reason: curiosity. The less he knows about where you've been and what you've been up to since the breakup, the more curious your ex will be. This is why detachment techniques are so important: by disappearing from your ex's life for a while, you're actually creating much more interest than you ever could had you stayed in touch with him.
Another rule to remember: just because he's the one who wanted the breakup, it doesn't mean your ex has totally put you out of his mind. Mistaking a lack of contact for a loss of interest is one of the bigger misconceptions women make, and this causes them to break the no contact rule in a desperate attempt for communication. Do this and you're back at square one, undoing all the patience and hard work you put in by staying away from your ex boyfriend.
Okay, let's examine some of the 6 main reasons your ex boyfriend will call you:
Reason 1: Your Ex Boyfriend is Just Plain Bored
Sometimes the grass really isn't greener on the other side of the fence. If your ex boyfriend calls you out of boredom, it means his single life isn't as booming as he thought it would be. He also probably called you out of habit, because he's used to dialing your number whenever he's having a bad day or feeling down.
Overall, this type of phone call is a really good sign. It shows that your ex is still comfortable enough to dial your number without really thinking up a reason to. However, it could also mean he knows how much you still love him. Don't let him take advantage of this fact, even if he does call.
Reason 2: He's Lonely, and Your Ex is Thinking About the Past
Another great sign of interest: your ex calls to reminisce about the good old days. In this case he'll get nostalgic, talk about good times, and then suddenly feign mock embarrassment and try to get off the phone quickly with something like:
I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have called.
This is all bullshit of course, and you shouldn't let it get to you in the slightest bit. Your ex knew exactly what he was doing when he dialed your number in the first place.
If you get this type of call, it means you've been doing everything right. Your ex boyfriend misses you, and this is a critical piece of the puzzle when learning exactly how to get him back.
Want to really turn the screws? Instead of eagerly agreeing with him about how great things used to be, act somewhat disinterested - as if his call means very little to you. Keep up the no contact, and give your ex boyfriend even more space in which to drown in the memories of what used to be. Do that, and before long you'll be getting regular phone calls.
Reason 3: Your Ex Boyfriend is Horny, and Wants You Sexually
Hey let's face it - it happens. In the face of a one-sided breakup, it's not uncommon for a guy to take advantage of the fact that his ex girlfriend wants him back. This might mean your ex calling you up when he's looking casual sex, a one-night-stand, or a booty call hookup.
Turning away a horny ex boyfriend isn't easy, especially if you're dying to get back together with him. But while it may seem like a good idea to jump into bed with him, you might also be sabotaging any future chance of your ex taking you seriously. After all, once he knows he can sleep with you while broken up, what incentive does he have to ever get back together? Not much, to be brutally honest.
Refusing your ex here is tricky, because you don't want to reject him too harshly. You'd probably like nothing more than to have sex with him, but you need to keep him from using you in that way.
At the same time, you also don't want it to seem as if you're playing games with him. Don't string him along with a bunch of 'maybes' followed up with "but we really shouldn't". Flat out tell him he's being selfish, and that if he's serious about moving on he should let you move on too.
Reason 4: Your Ex Is Jealous of Something You Did
Believe it or not, it's very easy to make your ex boyfriend jealous after he dumps you. You might think that just because he ended the relationship your ex isn't looking in your direction, but trust me when I say he's watching you very carefully to see how you're handling things.
For this reason, it's always good to make your ex jealous - especially when you do it unintentionally. Maybe you went out to a club or bar, hung out with a group of friends, or maybe it got back to him that you were chatting up some guy. No matter what the case, this type of jealousy is a good thing.
In short, your ex never wants to see that you're better off than he is. If you bounce right back from the breakup and seem better than ever, your ex comes off as the losing party. And if you happen to start dating a new guy? This is your ex boyfriend's worst nightmare. Whether your new relationship is serious or just a harmless rebound fling, he'll immediately feel pangs of jealousy whenever he thinks about you being with someone new.
Jealousy on your ex's part means you're on the right track to getting your boyfriend back. If he calls to ask you the details of your past weekend's excursion, remember to play it cool and give him as few details as possible. His imagination will do the rest, and he'll start to realize that by continuing the breakup he might finally lose you for good.
Reason 5: He's Feeling You Out, To See if You're Still Available
In one of the best possible of all breakup scenarios, your ex might call just to see if you started dating someone else. Of course he won't come right out and say that, but when your ex boyfriend rings your phone and starts making vague small talk? It's a pretty safe bet he wants to know whether or not you're looking to move on without him.
Some ex boyfriends will flat out ask you if you've met anyone new. Others will be more roundabout in their approach; since it was your ex that broke up with you, he might feel almost guilty about asking if you've started a new relationship.
You need to feel your ex out as well, to determine how serious he might be about getting back together. In many cases, your ex might still want to continue being apart. He's snooping around to see if you have a new boyfriend for his own edification, just so he knows where he stands, and how open the door to reconciliation still might be.
Reason 6: Your Ex is Calling to Get His Stuff Back
Half the time an ex boyfriend asks for his things back, it's because he's really just looking for an excuse to talk to you. He doesn't really want his stuff, he just wants a legitimate reason for getting back in touch.
You'll know when this happens because he'll want to arrange the meeting when you'll have time to talk to him, and he won't give you the option of mailing back his things. In this case your ex is thinking twice about the breakup, and may even want you back. Seeing you to pick up his things gives him a nice innocent little window of opportunity.
The other half of the time however, your ex will call because he wants his stuff back... and that's it. In this scenario his words will be short and your meeting will be shorter; essentially he still feels weird and awkward around you. Gathering his things may even be the last time you get the opportunity to see him, so if you want your boyfriend back you need to be very careful here.
If you feel as if your ex is slipping away, you'll need to act pretty fast. Check out these instant reversal techniques designed to instantly stop your breakup and swing the balance of power in your direction.
Getting Your Ex To Make That First Move or Phone Call
Now that you know which specific circumstances will prompt your exboyfriend to call you, getting him to pick up the phone is as easy as creating each type of scenario.
Want your ex to call because he misses you? Don't stick around after the breakup, especially 'as friends'. Break all ties and contact with your ex boyfriend so he gets to experience his life without you in it. This is when he'll be loneliest and most vulnerable, and this is when your ex will make first contact.
Want him to wonder if you're dating someone else? Don't give him reason to think you're not. Steer clear of any common friends, to make sure no one is tipping your ex boyfriend off as to exactly who you're with and what you're up to.
Want him to be jealous of your newly single life? Go out and have fun... and make sure it gets back to your ex that instead of sitting at home alone mourning the end of your relationship, you're actually out with friends having an absolute blast... without him.
Hitting the gym, looking good, feeling great... there are physical things you can do to improve the way your ex boyfriend sees and considers you. Mentally, having a positive outlook can go a long way toward getting him back. By staying active, happy, and positive, you're generating the same type of charisma that probably attracted your ex to you in the first place. Keep these things up, and your ex will start to wonder if maybe he didn't make a big mistake by cutting you loose.
If you've followed the above advice and are still having trouble getting your ex to initiate contact, you'll need stronger tactics. Read up on reversing your ex's current mindset with these male-based psychological triggers.
And once he does call? Your next move is simple. Learn exactly what to say to your ex boyfriend when he contacts you.