Removing Your Ex's Safety Net - Letting Him Know He Stands To Lose You
A one-sided break up is the most common type of breakup there is. Essentially, the person who ended things is ready to look for something new. The person who got dumped however, is not.
If you happen to be on the receiving end of an unwanted breakup, you might've already told your ex boyfriend how much you still love and miss him. Unfortunately though, this can create a very unwanted situation: in the event your ex doesn't find anything better, he now has a safety net to fall back on.
When your ex boyfriend feels secure in the knowledge that you still love him, it enables him to continue his quest for someone else. This will prolong your break up, and keep the two of you apart for as long as your ex feels comfortable.
Think about it. He knows you still want him... he knows you'll take him back whenever he wants. Because of this, your ex has absolutely no incentive to get back together with you at all.
Until your ex feels like you're slipping away from him, he'll never look back in your direction. Not romantically at least, which is what you really want.
For your ex boyfriend to want you back, he first needs to feel in danger of losing you.
Post-Breakup Withdrawal Methods - Stepping Away To Bring Your Ex Closer
Ever try to chase a dog? The faster you run after him, the quicker he runs away. But stop chasing the dog for a minute and start walking in the other direction... and all of a sudden the dog is chasing you.
Dog analogies aside, your ex boyfriend will react much the same way if you chase him after the break up. The more you pursue your ex boyfriend and the harder you press to get him back, the easier it is for him to disregard you altogether. He already knows he has you, and so he's really not interested.
But once you stop pursing your ex and start walking in a different direction? The chase is over, leaving your boyfriend to wonder what changed. He'll think that something suddenly clicked with you, causing you not to want him anymore. As with most guys, this will be a pretty big blow to his overall confidence.
As long as you're still in love with him, your ex boyfriend enjoys the benefits of his dating safety net. He gets to date other girls, see other people, and pretty much do anything he wants... knowing all the while that he can come back to you whenever he feels like it.
Best Techniques For Taking Away Your Ex Boyfriend's Safety Net
If you're currently stuck in a situation where your ex knows you still want him back, your priority becomes taking away his backup plan. To get your boyfriend back you'll need to make him realize you're not just sitting around waiting for him, and there are a lot of different ways to do this.
First, learn these 7 critical methods for making your ex start thinking about you again. Grabbing his attention right now is very important, especially if you've been broken up for a few weeks or more. These techniques can help you reverse the roles of rejection, making your ex seem like you are actually dumping him.
Next, examine the list of actions you can take below. Each of them can go a long way toward making your boyfriend realize he stands to lose you for good, should he continue with the break up:
Breaking All Contact With Your Ex Boyfriend
You should be doing this anyway, but if you want him back it's extremely important that you first sever all ties to your ex. The more he sees or hears from you, the more comfort your ex will derive from knowing you're still available. Becoming an absolute mystery sets him off his game, and he doesn't quite know what to think.
Unplugging From Facebook or MySpace
Social networking websites like Facebook and MySpace are great ways to meet people. Unfortunately for you, they're also ways for your ex to monitor your progress after he dumps you.
For this reason, you need to steer clear of these sites for a while. Even after the break, your ex boyfriend will continue to monitor your social networks. Why? Because he'll want to know how fast you move on, and whether or not you're still sweating him. With the help of your daily updates and friendly conversations with other people, your exboyfriend gets all the benefits of seeing what you're up to without having to call you up or ask your friends.
Some women "de-friend" their ex boyfriends after they break up with them. While you might think this is a good idea, the very fact that you broke the electronic friendship means that you still care. If you didn't care at all, doing such a thing wouldn't even be a priority.
The best thing to do is show him nothing by revealing nothing: the further removed you can become from Facebook or MySpace, the better off you'll be.
Getting Out And Doing The Things You Love
Pure happiness is by far one of the most attractive things you can outwardly show. In learning how to get an ex boyfriend to want you back, a big broad smile goes further than anything else.
Do you want your ex to think you're sitting at home, waiting for the phone to ring? Or would you rather him see you out, active, and having fun with friends or family? The more your ex thinks you're still depressed or upset about the break up, the more comfortable he'll be. Take him out of that comfort zone by putting on a big smile and having lots and lots of fun... all of it without him.
Dating Other Guys To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Jealous
Nothing says you've completely moved on better than going out and dating another guy. When you can finally get back on the horse and start dating again, it's like putting a sword through your ex's heart. No matter how much he thinks he's over you, it will still hurt him to see the girl he once loved holding hands with another man.
Up until that moment, your ex always believed he could get you back. But the second it looks as if you've moved on, he has to face the reality that the door to his relationship just swung closed... unless he quickly does something about it.
And hey, just because you choose to date someone else doesn't mean you've given up hope of getting your ex boyfriend back. Take things slow, and don't be afraid to date a few guys casually instead of looking for something serious. You also shouldn't be dating someone just to make your ex jealous - that's a happy bonus. Instead, date someone because it's fun, you like the person, and it's a good excuse to get out of the house and stay active.
Getting His Attention When It Seems Like Your Ex Boyfriend Is Ignoring You
In some cases, it might look like your ex boyfriend has totally moved on. Maybe it's been a while since you broke up, or maybe you haven't had much (or any) contact with your ex boyfriend in several weeks, even months.
When this happens, you'll need a different way of re-establishing a connection. Check out this opening move, designed to regain your ex boyfriend's attention and swing his thought process back in your direction.
If your boyfriend is trying to stay friends with you after the break up, it's almost impossible to remove the safety net. If this is your situation, check out the complete guide on what to do when your ex boyfriend wants to be friends.
And on the off chance your ex still isn't responding to you at this point, you'll need stronger tactics. These jealousy tricks can help spark interest and get your ex boyfriend's attention turned back upon you.