4 Big Reasons Why Your Ex Boyfriend May Be Ignoring You
One of the hardest parts about winning someone back is getting them to pay attention to you again. If your boyfriend broke up with you and has been ignoring you since that day, you'll need to recognize if maybe you're doing something wrong.
In a normal scenario, your ex will always seek you out... or at least, seek out information about how you're doing. Very rarely will a guy walk away without so much as a glance over his shoulder, and if you're in that type of situation then your ex probably has someone else in mind already. You'll need a much different approach if you find out your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend.
Barring those circumstances, your ex will always want to know about you after the break up. He still has emotional attachments to you that will make him curious, and even jealous at times, if your ex finds out your life is moving forward and he's standing still.
But what if your ex boyfriend is totally ignoring you? What if he hasn't called, or emailed, or even text-messaged you since the relationship ended?
In that case, you may be making some of the more major mistakes women commit after an unwanted breakup. These errors can often drive a man away; in most cases temporarily (until things cool down), but in some cases, even for good.
Consult the list below and be honest in determining if you're guilty of these actions. Committing one or two of these blunders can be a correctable situation, but make too many mistakes (and keep them going for too long) and you'll have a much harder time getting your boyfriend to come back to you:
You Haven't Demonstrated Acceptance of the Breakup
Your boyfriend will be afraid of you until he's sure you've accepted the break up. It's just that simple, really. Until he knows or feels that you've stopped fighting him or trying to change his mind, your ex will avoid you like a door-to-door salesman. Any contact you have with your ex will probably be initiated by you, and it will most likely be lightning fast, too.
An ex boyfriend always knows when you still have feelings for him. You can't hide the fact that you still love him if you're trying to talk him into giving your relationship a second chance. Some girls call this "fighting for the relationship", but in actuality you're talking your boyfriend out of wanting to be with you. The longer you go before accepting the end, the worse your chances for reconciliation.
What you really need to do is stop, accept things, agree with the breakup, and then make an attempt to move forward. This is the equivelent of rebooting you relationship and starting from scratch, rather than trying to get rid of all the errors and mistakes flashing all over the screen.
Until you have a fresh start, you've got no shot of getting him back. Your ex will see you as more and more desperate, and as time goes on he'll completely write you off as needy (and possibly even a bit pathetic). Losing your ex's respect will instantly destroy any shot you have of winning your boyfriend back.
On the contrary, if you were to agree and accept his decision to break things off? Suddenly you look a whole lot more calm and rational. Couple this with breaking all contact and walking away as cleanly as possible, and suddenly you're setting the stage for a positive future encounter with your exboyfriend. Why so positive? Because he saw you as mature and cool instead of needy and desperate. Your ex will feel as if you're totally approachable, because he won't be expecting you to throw yourself at his feet.
You're Excessively Calling, Contacting, or Emailing Your Ex Boyfriend
Beyond non-acceptance, the second biggest blunder you can make is trying to stay in touch with a guy who just dumped you. Whether you're still trying to get him to change his mind or you think you're flying under the radar with some type of 'let's still be friends' approach, what you're really doing here is shooting yourself right in the foot.
First of all, you can never be friends with your ex boyfriend... not if you want to get him back. Friendship will destroy any chance of reversing your breakup for a number of reasons, and you should avoid this approach more than anything else.
Calling your ex after he breaks up with you is always a bad idea. Breakups are weird and awkward, and they need some time to set in. You're attempting to make contact at the worst possible time here, and you're doing it while your ex is actively seeking to avoid you. Even if your boyfriend were to pick up the phone, any conversation you have with him will probably end badly.
It's an even more common myth that it's okay to keep E-mailing and text-messaging your ex boyfriend. You'll think that you can still swap texts with him, forward funny emails, and write messages on his Facebook wall. Each time you do this however, you're prolonging your own breakup. By staying in touch, your ex gets the benefit of knowing that you're still around, available, and hanging onto the idea of contact with him. And by always being in plain sight, your ex boyfriend never gets the chance to miss you: a crucial element of the getting him back equation.
You're Trying To Manipulate Your Ex With Guilt or Pity
Less common but no less damaging is using guilt or manipulation to try and get your ex boyfriend back. These may seem like great ways to get his attention, but very rapidly you'll realize that these behaviors will make a guy run faster (and farther) than anything else.
Guilt-tripping your ex boyfriend never works. Even if it did, you'd be getting him back through some very sneaky and abysmal means. Think your ex will want to stay with you after being guilted into taking you back? Of course not, which is why you'll probably be broken up again before the week is out.
Pity is another bad tactic when it comes to grabbing your ex's attention. No guy wants to take back a sobbing, crying disaster of an ex girlfriend. Men are no different than women in this way: they'd much rather have a girl who's strong and confident than one who's weak, needy, or insecure. Display these attributes and you'll be slamming the door of your relationship closed; your ex boyfriend won't be able to take you seriously.
It's Obvious To Him That You're Not Moving On With Your Life
Remember the part where your ex looks back over his shoulder to see how you're doing? Well if he sees you sitting home alone waiting for the phone to ring, you're unfortunately going to look instantly unattractive to him.
When you're hanging onto the hope that your ex will call you, it puts you into a totally defeated mindset. When your boyfriend gets wind of this he'll immediately wonder what he was doing with you in the first place, because it seems a little pathetic that you can't go on without him.
Even worse, this type of behavior can quickly send you into a deep depression. As you focus more and more on what used to be, you lose touch with the world around you. It's way to easy to continue spiraling downward, until one day you wake up and you're nothing at all like the happy person you used to be.
Only by being yourself can you hope to get your ex back. But instead you become someone entirely different - someone fixated only on the breakup, and because of this your exboyfriend sees you in a completely different and very negative ways.
Getting out and living your life is the ultimate way to get back an ex boyfriend's attention. When he sees you smiling, laughing, and out there having fun? Your ex will wonder why the hell he's not still with you, sharing in those good times.
Don't make the mistake of 'waiting around' for your ex boyfriend, even if you think that's what he wants. Some women believe that by going out with friends and living their newly single lives, they're actually going to disappoint their ex boyfriends' expectations of them. They think that by having fun, their exes are somehow going to punish them for not waiting somberly around.
Forget that philosophy and make yourself something that your ex will want to be with again. Living well is the best revenge, and it's also the best attention-grabbing method for renewing your ex boyfriend's interest in you.
Need other ways of putting yourself back in your ex's head? Check out this four-step strategy designed to reconnect and reinsert yourself back into your boyfriend's life, in ways that will make him want to be with you again.
Remember - breakups aren't always final, and they very often lead to getting back together. Many times however, it's not what you do... it's what you don't do that determines whether or not your boyfriend will want to date you again.
For more information on getting your ex to notice you, learn the best methods for contacting your ex boyfriend.