How to Get Your Boyfriend Back in 4 Surefire Steps

After a breakup, it's hard to win your boyfriend back all at once. If you're willing to break the process down into steps however, getting back together becomes a lot easier. Learn how you can get your ex to want you back, quickly and effectively.

Boyfriend Back

Breakups... they seem so sudden, don't they? In reality though, they're not. When your boyfriend sat you down to break up with you, he probably made the decision days or even weeks ago. He's had a lot of time to process his thoughts and feelings, where you were pretty much blindsided by whole thing.

If you want to get your boyfriend back, you can't overlook this fact. Just as your break up didn't take place overnight, your relationship won't be fixed that quickly. You'll both need time to cool off, and appreciate being apart for a little while. Then, and only then, can you begin the process of winning him back.

The good news? Even though your breakup happened fast, the feelings your ex still has for you didn't just dissolve away with the snap of his fingers. Emotional bonds that took months or even years to build usually take just as long - if not longer - to fade away.

Below are four sure-fire steps for winning back your exboyfriend's love and attention. They need to be followed in order, if you want to successfully repair your broken relationship:

Withdrawl, Step Back, and Accept The Breakup

When a guy breaks up with you, he prepares himself for the worst. Crying, pleading, anger... and the long drawn-out talk where you might beg for a 'second chance' - these are all big parts of how he imagines the break up will go. Because of this, your now ex boyfriend is prepared for it. He has counters to your every move, and words ready to dissuade you from wanting to continue the relationship.

And anything he can't counter? Your boyfriend will deal with this by walking away. He'll dismiss you because he feels weird, awkward, and doesn't know what to say. And from that point on, he'll avoid you... and all contact you try to make with him.

For this reason, you need to approach your breakup with an opposite mindset. These reversal techniques will change the way your ex sees the entire breakup, as well as how he feels about you in general.

When your ex gently explains that you'd be better off apart, it's time to nod your head and agree with him. Tell him you also feel the relationship hasn't been working out, and that seperating is definitely the way to go. Wish him well, walk away, and watch his jaw drop to the floor.

Your boyfriend doesn't expect any of this. By leaving calmly and rationally, he begins to question his decision to break up with you. He'll also be astonished at how he couldn't see this coming: apparently, on many levels, you were also over the relationship. He'll wonder what he did to upset you, and how he could've prevented it. His confidence is shaken. And best of all? Your ex is now feeling the same type of rejection that you do.

Steer Clear of Your Ex Boyfriend To Make Him Miss You

Your next step? Dissolving any and all ties with your ex. Did you hang out together? Not anymore. Share the same circle of friends? Drop out of that circle for a little while, or pull your friends back toward you. The sooner you can disappear completely from your ex boyfriend's life, the faster he'll need you back again.

Myspace, Facebook... let all those things go for now. Your ex will use them to feel you out, and to see how you're really doing. Right now you want to be a complete mystery to him: you need your exboyfriend to really start missing you, and that's not going to happen if you're still around.

And if your ex asks to remain friends? Chuckle. Let him know you love him too much to play that stupid game, and once again walk away. If he doesn't want all of you then he can't have any of you at all. Staying friends with your exboyfriend is a sucker move - it enables your ex to still see and talk to you, keep track of you, and keep you at arm's length. And while you're his friend? He's never going to see you as a potential girlfriend again. He's too comfortable.

Right now, breaking all contact is the only way to get your boyfriend back. While it may seem he'll forget about you because you're no longer around, exactly the opposite is true. The more he doesn't know what you're doing, the more your exboyfriend will be curious. In time, that curiosity will get your ex to call or make that first initial attempt at contacting you. Staying completely silent and removed will always lead your ex boyfriend back to you.

Focus On Yourself: Recreate The Person Your Boyfriend Fell In Love With

You should never have to change for anyone. That said, it's time to re-examine the origins of your old relationship, and see how different it was in the beginning. Remember how things were when you first met your ex? How you acted, what you said, and how nicely you treated each other during your courtship?

Compare that to your relationship right before the breakup. If you were acting in much the same way, it's entirely possible that your boyfriend's attitude somehow changed. But if you see big differences in the way you treated him? Getting back to that old mindset can help produce those old sparks and desires in your ex's heart again.

By rediscovering the person your boyfriend fell in love with, you can dust off the old you. Eventually you and your ex will see each other again - it's a natural part of getting him back. When he does, you want to put forth the girl he always loved and desired... not the one who took him for granted or barely communicated toward the end of the relationship.

Go Out, Have Fun, and Make Your Ex Realize What He's Missing

Again, your boyfriend has certain expectations after dumping you. Since he knows you still love him, he expects to be chased. He also expects you to mourn the loss of the relationship, and to be upset for a while. Most guys will envision you at home, waiting by the phone, with a big box of tissues.

Make Exboyfriend Jealous

Instead of falling into his preconceived notion of what you should be doing after the breakup, it's time to shake things up a bit. Go out with friends and have the best possible time you can. Hit some of your old familiar haunts. Make sure you're smiling, laughing, and having the time of your life - when word of your behavior gets back to your ex boyfriend, it'll be like a big hard kick to his ego.

Your ex still has feelings for you, regardless of what he says or does. Right now, he doesn't want to see you happy. He needs to see you somewhat miserable, because this validates his decision to break up with you. So when he sees that the breakup hasn't affected you whatsoever? Your ex boyfriend starts doubting himself. He starts doubting whether or not he really needed you more than you needed him.

Here's where your ex will begin missing you most of all. He'll see you as strong and independent. Confidence and resiliance are very attractive traits in a women, and just as he did in the beginning of your relationship, your ex will see you as something to be desired. He'll wonder if letting you go was the right move, and whether or not he should take you back... before you get snatched up by someone else.


For more on how you can make your boyfriend want you back quickly, read up on this 4-stage process geared toward regaining exboyfriend's interest and attention.

And for 5 more adjustments you can make to your own situation, check out making him want you back.

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• Control his actions
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